![]() Rules: Things we agree to, without the input of others, based on OUR needs wants and nos.Īgreements: Mutual Accords that support the needs, wants and nos of everyone involved. I often hear people talk about Boundaries, Rules, and Agreements in their relationships- but what does this mean? Are they all the same thing? I don’t believe so.īoundaries: Things that I set for ME, based on my needs, wants, and nos. Similarly, without boundaries, life gets messy. And without skin around us, things get messy. ![]() It is semi permeable, so we can let good things in (like sunlight and moisture) and sweat the bad things out. ![]() Push that edge too far, and we reach our limits- the skin breaks. It has elasticity and can stretch and squish for short periods of time (this is called the Resilient Edge of Resistance, think of it as a plus/minus margin around your boundaries). It also holds our bodies together and keeps the good things in. Skin protects us from bacteria, contaminants- it keeps the bad things out. My friend and mentor Marcia has a great metaphor for boundaries. ~ Robert Augustus Masters, Boundaries Make Freedom Possible But despite this clear truth, we often fall into the trap of believing that boundaries hold us back, preventing us from being free…” Without them there is no relationship and therefore no development, no evolution. Boundaries both contain and preserve the integrity of what they are safeguarding, be that physical, psychological, emotional, social, or spiritual. ![]() They delineate and maintain needed borders and separations, making differentiation possible at every level. “Boundaries are an essential part of life. ![]()
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